AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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