We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Im part way to drunk.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
