did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
