And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
