biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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