Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
