question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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