Plan B is the new Plan A
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
