he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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