He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
