every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
