i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
