No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
farters have to be the big spoon...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
no you cant smoke seaweed
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
