She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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