I think I just saw someone hide a body.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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