At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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