If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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