Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
