My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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