I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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