walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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