I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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