dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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