id be glad to
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
