Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
