Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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