i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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