No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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