I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize