i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
