my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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