thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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