WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
