M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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