How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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