Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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