I cannot find my penis.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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