You're so nebulous sometimes
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
