hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
