She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
