You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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