I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
