Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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