Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
