My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
