End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
