Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
