Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
