glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
