the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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