suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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