giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
