My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
only if we run a train.
done.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
