My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
